Delhi Middle School

Dear 6th grade students at Delhi Middle School,

Guess who is coming to town? Why it is Uncle Shi Huangdi of coarse. I will be there to spread the word about my great system of government legalism. Legalism is not a bad thing. The only bad thing that is involved in legalism is YOU. That is because all legalists believe that all humans beings are evil and deserve to be punished. What is so wrong with that way of thinking?

Alright, I will admit, at first I wasn't to keen on going. But if Confucius and Laozi are going to speak to the kids I HAVE to go. Confucius and Laozi will feed them all the wrong information. Really, laws and a powerful government are what this society needs right now. I need to share this with the kids. They need to understand this. I'm not shutting down your Myspace or Facebook account simply because I care. I want to shut it down purely because you are evil and THAT seems like a pretty good punishment. Do not listen to those other to speakers in class. Only listen to me. I demand that you listen to me! If you don't listen to me there will be consequences!

My Platform

When I am president of the United States the first thing I am going to do is burn all of the books and block all of the websites that go against my teachings. Actually I haven't really waited to become president to do this. I already blocked Confucius and Laozi's blogs. Confucius is too family oriented and Laozi is just too much of a tree hugger.


Really censoring is caring. So long as I control what you see and hear you won't know that there is anything different out there. What I say is reality will be reality because what I say goes.


You may have also seen the article on me in Time magazine last month. Here is the cover.

In it they talked about my brilliant idea. Can you guess what it is? I want to build a Great Wall of America. The Great Wall of China that I built in 220 BC. Over the past thousand years it has done a fairly good job of keeping invaders out of China.

In the article I explain how I think that we should build huge walls to protect our borders. We need to keep the pesky Canadians in their place. Up north in the cold is right where they belong. They don't need to come down here. I think a big wall will display that message nicely.

I was contacted by a Mr. Busker and Ms. Schwendenmann to come and visit some place called Delhi Middle School next week. I don't know if I am going or not. I will keep you posted.

I am running for President of the United States!

Read the title! That is right! I am running for President in 2012!



My previous jobs should be enough to qualify me for the job. I was the emperor of China in 221 BC.

I think you should most definately vote for me!

I believe in a strong government. People are bad by nature and must be control. All people who believe in Legalism believe that.

I am a Legalist!

Society lets people get away with too much. I am sick of it. As a legalist I believe that the punishment should fit the crime. I am a firm believer in the rule an eye for an eye.

In fact I think if you break the law you shouldn't be the only one who is punished. Your family should be punished as well. Heck maybe even a neighbor or two. That will make people think twice before they steal something. I don't care if they are hungry and all they stole was a slice of bread. What is worse: The pain in your stomach or the image of seeing your grandma in prison?

Strict laws and harsh punishments are the way to go!